Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/24/201

Twice now King Obama has sworn in on the bible to uphold our constitution. Now that he has demonstrated that meant nothing it might as well have been a book of Mother Goose stories.

Whiskey Tooth Paste

Q. How do you address the most powerful Muslim in the world?

Detroit Police last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles

Tornado imagery, very interesting

Buddy Day for the men!
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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
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Q. How do you address the most powerful Muslim in the world?
A. Mr. President.

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Detroit Police last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 2 tons of heroin, 5 million in forged US banknotes and 15 trafficked Latino prostitutes – all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library on Woodward Ave.

Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman said, “We all be shocked; none of us never knew we had a library.”

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Tornado imagery, very interesting

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Buddy_Day

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/23/2013

Quote: I hope you live to be as old as your jokes. – Anonymous

The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Offshore Drilling

Beautiful Babes
Read more »

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/22/2013

World Survey by Phone ……

Body Found

Kids arrested for trivial things Kids arrested for trivial things

Wet T-Shirt
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World Survey by Phone ……

A couple of months ago a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

“Please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world”

The survey was a massive failure because of the following:

1. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
3. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
4. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
6. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
7. In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
8. In Canada: They all hung up as soon as they heard the East Indian accent.

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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
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Body Found

Today the Police found an unidentified man’s nude body in the Park. They describe him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a Small Dick.

Are You O.K. ??

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Kids arrested for trivial things

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Misswett-shirt

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/21/2013

Today is Tuesday!

Baby, did you change the password?

Hello…sex?

Sexy Ladies

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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
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________________________ Please tell your friends about OLS!

Sexy Ladies

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
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Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/20/2013

Life has no remote.. You have to get up and change it yourself…..

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

I’m not saying she’s a slut.

Sleeping in class

Sexy lady!
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My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up. She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.?

But the jewel in the crown has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober any time in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960′s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work.

Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing.?

Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald’s and Burger King, every single fucking day.?

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.”

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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
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________________________ Please tell your friends about OLS!

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
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Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/17/2013

Quote: My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more. Walter Mattbau

A man walked into his crowded local bar, waved a revolver around and yelled

Golf Story

Train & Earbuds do not go together

Sexy Vittoria
Read more »

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/16/2013

Call Up – Guys Over 60

Sex life and Coca-Cola

Sex With Hornet’s Nest

You’re Dead Meat

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Call Up – Guys Over 60

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier…  New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists.  You can’t be older than 42 to join the military.  They’ve got the whole thing arse -backwards.?

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.  You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.?

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.  Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.  ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry y.’ We are normally bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some fool that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10am.  Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.  Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch. 

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them.  In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.  We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food.  We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns.  We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. 

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however…  I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any press-ups after completing basic training.?

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too…  I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet. 

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.  He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.  He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. 

These are all great reasons to keep  our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.?

Let us old guys track down those terrorists.  The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50…in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol.  They’ll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends…it’s in big type so they can read it.

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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
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Sex life and Coca-Cola

Two friends meet after many years ….

They talk about their lives …

One asks the other:

- And how’s your sex life?? …..
- Same As Coca-Cola …….

- Oh great! …. Full of bubbles, eh?! ….

Nothing like that! ….

Before it was ‘NORMAL’,?
then it became ‘LIGHT’,
and now it is ‘ZERO’ !

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Sex With Hornet’s Nest

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/15/2013

Old quotes…

No woman every shot a man….

No more Mother & Father

Sexy Russian Lady

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I know lots more old drunks than old doctors.
- Joe E. Lewis

I’m a one-drink woman, two at the most, three I’m under the table, four I’m under the host.
- Anonymous

My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled.
- Red Skelton

Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one . . . and got hit by a bus.
- Bob Rubin

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more.
- Walter Mattbau

I can’t believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm, you were the quickest.
- Steven Pearl

I hope you live to be as old as your jokes.
- Anonymous

My wife is the most wonderful woman in the world, and that’s not just my opinion – it’s hers.
- Anonymous

She: Before we got married, you told me you were well-off. he: I was, and I didn’t know it.
- Jacob Braude

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
- Michel de Montaigne

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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
________________________

________________________ Please tell your friends about OLS!

No more Mother & Father

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Sexy Russian Lady

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/14/2013

When a soldier is killed in the line of duty, his family eventually gets a flag and a note conveying sympathy and respect and  from the  United States Government.?
When a Black pro basketball player announces he is gay, he immediately gets a personal phone call from the President congratulating him for his courage.?
Am I missing something?

Son-in-Law

Bar in Walmart

Sexy ladies
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Son-in-Law

A girl brings her boy friend home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father, a business tycoon, to find out about the young man. He invites the boy to his study for green tea.
“So what are your plans?” the father asks the boy.

“I am an religious scholar and want to marry your daughter” he replies.
“A scholar,” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she’s accustomed to?”
“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”
“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asks the father.
“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “God will provide for us.”
“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”
“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the boy.
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the boy insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, “How did it go?”
The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I’m God.”

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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
________________________

________________________ Please tell your friends about OLS!

Password for link below: r-rated

Sexy Ladies

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/13/2013

Coincidence?

Died from not forwarding…

Curling irons

Sexy ladies
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I KNOW MANY OF YOU  ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO FOOTBALL SEASON.

WELL, HERE’S A LITTLE RECAP OF LAST YEAR………

Coincidence?

Just wondering!

Alabama beat Arkansas
and they fired the coach.

Alabama beat Tennessee
and they fired the coach.

Alabama beat Auburn
and they fired the coach.

Then Alabama beat Notre Dame
and the Pope resigns…

Damn, I wish the White House had a team.

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Buying from Amazon? Please click on the link at the top of my blog. This costs you nothing and gives me a few cents on every order. This helps to off-set the cost of the blog. Thanks, Chuck
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Coincidence?

________________________ Please tell your friends about OLS!

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**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Thanks for reading OLS and Chuck’s blog.

Please tell your friends about OLS!

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama