Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 9/03/2010

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Only one kiss per yard

You know your in Alabama in July when:

Air Force One is now invisible
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 9/02/2010

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Rules of life

This is definitely full disclosure

Cartoon Character
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 9/01/2010

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Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out.

This wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up a dead sex-life.

Honesty is the best policy
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/31/2010

Did you know Sharks can detect the heartbeats of other fish.

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Let see who is more tolerant now….

There was a burning building with a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde at the top.

Anatomy Lesson 101
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/30/2010

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An elderly spinster who was a dog lover

Camels

If you suffer from Migraines

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbours dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays.

The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was in ‘heat’ and the neighbours dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.

As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly awakened by awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs.  She rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when
mating. The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage.  Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next.

Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone.  The spinster explained the problem.

The vet said, “I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them.  I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch.”

“Oh,” said the spinster, “Do you think that will work?”

“Well,” the vet replied, “IT JUST WORKED ON ME !!!!”
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Camels

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked,

“Mom, why do we have these huge three-toed feet?”

The mother replied, “Well son, when we trek across the desert, our toes will help us stay on top of the soft sand.”

Two minutes later the young camel asked, “Mom, why do we have these long eyelashes?”

“They are there to keep the sand out of our eyes on the trips through the desert,” the mother said.

“Mom, why have we got these great big humps on our back?”

“They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods of time.”

“So we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes, and these humps to store water.”

“Yes dear,” said the mother.

“So why are we in the Toronto Zoo?”
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If you suffer from Migraines

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Our Lighter side is an electronic newsletter published five days a week and sent to you from Birmingham, AL.

Please tell your friends about OLS! Would your friends enjoy receiving “Our Lighter Side”?

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/27/2010

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A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid

Mary Poppins was traveling home

No matter how sexy she is….
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/26/2010

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. WC. Fields

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Prayer rugs

A lady goes into the butcher shop

This proves Obama was born in the USA.
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/25/2010

Just wanted to let you know – today I received my 2010 Obama Stimulus Package. It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, and 10 coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish. Hope you get yours soon.

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What a real man does

You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start.

Evolution History
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/24/2010

Answer to baseball question from yesterday: It’s 5 to 4, bottom of the fifth, one out, and nobody on.

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A married couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.

A little boy said to his mother, “Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white “?

Lindsey Lohan’s first jail photo
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OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/23/2010

A veteran is someone who, at one point, wrote a blank personal check made payable to ‘The United States of America ‘ for an amount of ‘up to and including their life’.

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The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed.

Aspirin Tax

Baseball

A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said, ‘Sure is, little lady. Why don’t you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?’
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, ‘Well, thank ya, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.’
‘Don’t be flattered… Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit!’
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Aspirin Tax:

It appears that Obama is going to impose a 40% tax on aspirin, just because it’s white and it works!!!

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Baseball

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Our Lighter side is an electronic newsletter published five days a week and sent to you from Birmingham, AL.

Please tell your friends about OLS! Would your friends enjoy receiving “Our Lighter Side”?

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck