Math Problem
Written by Ed on August 4, 2010 – 11:00 pm -This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience
Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint….it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with
mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
‘REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM’
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This is after the Suns were protesting the new law in AZ:
Written by Ed on July 2, 2010 – 10:01 am -Much has been said against AZ’s move to do the Federal Government’s job. The following was sent by a friend and pokes fun at the Suns. To see where it came from first, see the last line.
“What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of people were sneaking into games without paying? What if they had a good idea who the gate-crashers are, but the ushers and security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to produce their ticket stubs, thus non-paying attendees couldn’t be ejected. Furthermore, what if Suns’ ownership was expected to provide those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and drink? And what if, on those days when a gate-crasher became ill or injured, the Suns had to provide free medical care and shelter?”
- This was posted by Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer on FaceBook
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POSITIVELY PRICELESS!!!
Written by Ed on June 7, 2010 – 11:00 pm -Most Syrians struggle to even read Arabic, much less have a clue about English.
So, how do a group of Syrian protest leaders create the most impact with their signs by having the standard “Death To Americans”(etc.) slogans printed in English?
Answer: They simply hire an English-speaking civilian to translate and write their statements into English.
Unfortunately, in this case, they were unaware that the “civilian” insurance company employee hired for the job was a retired US Army Sergeant!
Obviously, pictures of this protest rally never made their way to Arab TV networks, but the results were PRICELESS!
This picture is not doctored.
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Late but for Memorial Day
Written by Ed on May 31, 2010 – 10:17 pm -
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Sign POSTED on US Hwy 29 Auburn, AL
Written by Ed on April 14, 2010 – 11:00 pm -
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Interesting Border protocol by India and Pakistan
Written by Ed on March 4, 2010 – 11:00 pm -The Wagah border is the ONLY road linking a very long border with India and Pakistan. The two countries have been enemies forever. Every night, the border is closed with this most unusual ceremony. Only 156 seconds long.
India Pakistan Wagah Attari Border Closing Ceremony (By Sanjeev Bhaskar – The Longest Road).
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BREAKING NEWS:
Written by Ed on October 12, 2009 – 5:15 pm -BREAKING NEWS: This just in!!!
Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after
watching a college football game!!!
| He read the paper this morning, the Pulitzer is an almost certainty. |
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Don Rickles on Democrats
Written by Ed on September 29, 2009 – 5:38 pm -No offense intended…..Ha! Only Don Rickles could get away with saying this stuff, but it is funny.
Don Rickles Roasts the Dems…
Hello, dummies! Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident? Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint – A Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. and Reid’s so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I’d say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.
Speaking of the Speaker… Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity. Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. She really is an idiot. Madame Speaker… want to make twelve bucks the hard way? Pelosi says she’s not partisan, but her constituents call her Madame Pelossilini.
Charlie Rangel… still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel’s the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He’s the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn’t he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.
Barney Frank – he’s a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider… he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they’re not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they’re still heading up the financial system!
Let’s all admit it… Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on novocain. How did this guy get elected? Oh, that’s right…. he’s from Massachusetts . That’s the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry — man of the people!
You know, if Senator Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him. Here’s a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a “lying weasel”, it may be time to retire. Dodd’s involved in more shady deals than the Clintons . Even Rangel looks up to him!
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you… especially given your upbringing. All you’ve overcome…. I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don’t know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don’t think you’re a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?
As for President Obama, what can I say? They say President Obama’s arrogant and aloof, but I don’t agree. Now it’s true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don’t mind, but he has it in his back pocket. His mind is open to new ideas — so open that ideas simply pass through it.
Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack. Just don’t ask about his middle name! But Obama was able to set a record… he actually lied more in 60 days than Bill Clinton. As far as his administration — what with the tax cheat and lobbyists — well, in the words of Patches O’Houlihan, “It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there.”
With all due respect.
FOR THOSE THAT VOTED FOR “HOPE AND CHANGE”… BEND OVER AND PREPARE.
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America armed, but guns not necessarily loaded
Written by Ed on September 24, 2009 – 9:09 pm -NEW ORLEANS – Bullet-makers are working around the clock, seven days a week, and still can’t keep up with the nation’s demand for ammunition. Read full article:
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Weird Stories of Objects Falling From the Sky—Explained
Written by Ed on September 23, 2009 – 8:51 pm -The annals of history are full of tales of strange objects falling from the sky. During biblical and medieval times, people typically perceived events such as rains of rats, dead bats, fish and frogs as signs of plague, ill portents or even manna from the benevolent above. Science eventually won out, bringing explanations for many of these seemingly inexplicable episodes. Still others remain unsolved, leaving the affected locals to theorize, and look expectantly to the clouds, for the next meat shower or golf ball storm. In honor of the release of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs we present a list of the 10 craziest things to rain down on humanity from the heavens. Read complete article:
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