Northbound on I-5 near Chehalis, WA (88 miles south of Seattle)
Written by Ed on September 2, 2010 – 11:00 pm -
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Letter from a “Proud American”
Written by Ed on September 1, 2010 – 11:00 pm -My Dear American Citizens,
For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank you hard working American people for paying $242,000 plus additional expenses for my Spain vacation.
My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time. Honestly, you just haven’t lived until you have stayed at a 5-Star, $2,500.00 per night suite in a luxury hotel. Some of you say we are extravagant. That’s just not true. We booked only 70 rooms for our friends, staff and family. Also, we used public transportation, Air Force 2. Besides, we had little privacy with 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times.
I sincerely must ask the help of you American citizens. Please drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too. We need to lessen our combined carbon footprint.
That old Air Force 2 used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for our trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. It costs only $11,500 per hour to operate Air Force 2 and each additional plane for the other members of our party group. These are only rough estimates, but they are close. It’s quite a carbon footprint, as my good friend Al Gore would say. But who’s counting anyway.
I want you to know that I realize that times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and and many of your are exhausted trying to make ends meet. I do so appreciate your sacrifice and do hope you find work soon. I also was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few days.
I had planned to have written you more from Martha’s Vineyard where we spent our sixth vacation this year with more of our family and friends, but Barack and I were just too busy eating shrimp. I just didn’t realize it is so much fun being proud!
Cordially,
M. Obama
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Best Bumper Sticker
Written by Ed on August 24, 2010 – 11:00 pm -
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Think about this
Written by Ed on August 18, 2010 – 11:00 pm -Think about this:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq …why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this — you cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.
Also, think about this … if you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone — YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
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Insightful poem
Written by Ed on August 15, 2010 – 11:00 pm -
I do not like this Uncle Sam,
I do not like his health care scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks,
or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker Nan ,
I do not like this ‘YES, WE CAN!’
I do not like this spending spree —
I’m smart; I know that nothing’s free.
I do not like your smug replies,
when I complain about your lies.
I do not like this kind of hope.
I do not like it — nope, nope, nope!
Go green – recycle Congress in 2010!
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THINGS BEING DESTROYED VERY SLOWLY
Written by Ed on August 2, 2010 – 12:39 pm -Posted in Fun Stuff | No Comments »
Teleprompter President
Written by Ed on July 25, 2010 – 11:09 pm -
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The Man Song at Kontraband
Written by Ed on July 18, 2010 – 11:00 pm -Pigeons
Written by Ed on July 13, 2010 – 11:00 pm -The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix . He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop. The people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks, or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.
One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition. ‘I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions, or you can pay me one million dollars to ask one question.’
The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.
The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky.
All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the blue pigeon.
The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city.
The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall.
The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons.
Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.
The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.
Do you think the Mayor is going to ask how the blue pigeon led all the pigeons away?
Do you think the Mayor is going to ask where all the pigeons went?
Do you think He is going to ask where the man got the blue pigeon?
Nooooooo!
This will get a smile out of you!
The mayor asked: “Do you have a blue Mexican?”
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I Miss Bill Clinton
Written by Ed on July 12, 2010 – 11:00 pm -It doesn’t matter what party you belong to-this is hilarious. From a show on Canadian TV, there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.
“Yep, that’s right-I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever
got to having a real black man as President.
Number 1 – He played the sax.
Number 2 – He smoked weed.
Number 3 – He had his way with ugly white women.
Even now? Look at him…his wife works, and he doesn’t! And, he gets a
check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America ’s shelves this week with ” Clinton Soup,” in honor of one of the nations’ distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton.
The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada .
When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don’t know, I never had one.”
The Clinton revised judicial oath: “I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.”
Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.”
… ya gotta love it!
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