OUR LIGHTER SIDE 2/5/2013

Written by chuck on February 4, 2013 – 10:30 pm -

Quote: My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled. – Red Skelton

A boss said to his secretary:

The Pope in Alaska

It finally happened. I’ve been sending so many e-mails lately that my cursor actually overheated.

N-E-V-E-R, E-V-E-R, urinate on a 3 phase electric fence!

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A boss said to his secretary:

“I want to have SEX with you, I’ll make it very FAST. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be done.”

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend & told him the story.

Her boyfriend then said to her. “Do it but ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast so he wouldn’t even have time to undress
himself.”

So she agrees.

Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call his girlfriend.

He asks, “what happened?”

She responds “the BASTARD used COINS,

I’m still picking & he is still fucking.”

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The Pope in Alaska

The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a Vote for Obama hat and a Save the Trees shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Sarah shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug right into the bear’s chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him. “I give you my blessing for your brave actions!” he proudly proclaimed. “I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.”

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, “Who the heck was that guy?”

“Dude, that was the Pope,” another replied. “He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.”

“Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Washington DC and get another one?”

________________________

It finally happened. I’ve been sending so many e-mails lately that my cursor actually overheated.

________________________

N-E-V-E-R, E-V-E-R, urinate on a 3 phase electric fence!

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this post. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck
Birmingham, Alabama


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