Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 9/03/2010

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Only one kiss per yard

You know your in Alabama in July when:

Air Force One is now invisible

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.

“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.
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You know your in Alabama in July when:

~ The birds have to use potholders
to pull worms out of the ground.

~ The trees are whistling for the dogs.

~ The best parking place is determined
by shade instead of distance.

~ Hot water now comes out of both taps.

~ You can make sun tea instantly.

~ You learn that a seat belt buckle
makes a pretty good branding iron.

~ The temperature drops below 95
and you feel a little chilly.

~ You discover that in July it only takes
2 fingers to steer your car.

~ You discover you can get sunburned
through your car window.

~ You actually burn your hand
opening the car door.

~ You break into a sweat the instant
you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

~ Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is,
“What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

~ You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

~ The potatoes cook underground,
so all you have to do is pull one out
and add butter, salt and pepper.

~ Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice
to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

~ The cows are giving evaporated milk.

…………Ah, what a place to call home!

And the worst thing? Every darn bit of it is true~!!
Well almost.?
________________________

Air Force One is now invisible

http://ourlighterside.com/stuff/invisible-air-force-1/

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck