OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/18/2010
Written by chuck on August 17, 2010 – 10:30 pm -AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT AUGUST 2010.
This August has 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays, 5 Tuesdays, all in one month. It happens once in 823 years.
I’ll probably miss the next one.
Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS
I need a raise
The things that Drive a Sane Person Mad
Nude & Tanned
I need a raise
A: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?
B: Sure, come on in. ? What can I do for you?
A: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.
B: Yes.
A: I won’t beat around the bush. ? Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.
B: A raise I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.
A: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.
B: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don’t want to start a brain drain, I’m willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?
A: Great! It’s a deal! Thank you, sir!
B: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?
A: Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!
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The things that Drive a Sane Person Mad
You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There’s always a car riding your tail when you’re slowing down to find an address.
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
There’s a dog in the neighbourhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you’re trying to get a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you’re standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won’t pop out of the tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling (or braces).
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
The radio station doesn’t tell you who sang that song.
You rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can’t look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don’t know how to spell it.
You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you’re just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can’t find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.
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Adult Humor
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Our Lighter side is an electronic newsletter published five days a week and sent to you from Birmingham, AL.
Please tell your friends about OLS! Would your friends enjoy receiving “Our Lighter Side”?
Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com
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Thanks,
Chuck
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