Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 3/30/2010

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Cow story

Twenty Dollars

Glow in the dark

  The only cow in a small town in Georgia stopped giving milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in Alabama quite cheaply. They brought the cow from Alabama and it was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they’d never have to worry about their milk supply again.
                 
        They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed.
              
        The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.
         
        “Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said, When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side.”
                
        The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, “Did you by chance, buy this cow in Alabama?”
               
        The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow in Alabama.
                 
        “You are truly a wise Vet,” they said. “How did you know we got the cow from Alabama?”
            
        The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, “My wife is from Alabama.”
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Twenty Dollars

On their wedding night, the young bride Approached her new husband and asked For $20.00 for their first lovemaking Encounter. In his highly aroused state, Her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made Love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that She needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that His employer was going through a process of corporate Downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he’d be able to find Another position that paid anywhere near what He’d been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which Showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him  certificates of deposits issued By the bank which were worth over $2 million,  And informed him that they Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than Three decades she had ‘charged’ him for sex, These holdings had multiplied and these were the Results of her savings and investments. 

Faced with evidence of cash and investments Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, ‘If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!’

That’s when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don’t know when To keep their mouths shut.

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Glow in the dark

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Chuck