Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 3/11/2010

Written by chuck on March 10, 2010 – 10:30 pm -

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS

For all who have difficulty converting  units  …

I’d like some raisin bread please

They Won!!

For all who have difficulty converting  units  …

Ratio of an igloo’s  circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement =  1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries  with God = 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220  yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod  Serling

Half of a large intestine = 1  semicolon

1,000,000 aches = 1  megahurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1  hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two  jokes = A straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1  pound cake

1 million- microphones = 1  megaphone

2 million bicycles = 2  megacycles

365.25 days = 1  unicycle

2000 mockingbirds = 2  kilomockingbirds

52 cards = 1  decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs =  1 Fig Newton

1000 milliliters of wet socks  = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1  microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1  terrapin

10 rations = 1  decoration

100 rations = 1  C-ration

2 monograms = 1 diagram

4 nickels = 2  paradigms

2.4 statute miles of  intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV  League
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A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.

“I’d like some raisin bread please,” the man says.

The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf.  The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought.

When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves, as he is “having company for dinner.”

As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what’s going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread.

After many trips she is tired and irritated, and begins to wonder, “Why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?”

Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below. Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd.

Thinking that she can save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, “Is it raisin for you too?”

“No,” stammers the old man, “but it’s quivering a little.”
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http://ourlighterside.com/stuff/won

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Our Lighter side is an electronic newsletter published five days a week and sent to you from Birmingham, AL.

Please tell your friends about OLS! Would your friends enjoy receiving “Our Lighter Side”?

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck

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