Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 3/4/2010

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Six short stories by men!

The One (1) Question Test

007

ONE

I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone.

I said, “Morning.”

He said, “No, just taking a shit.”

TWO

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.

THREE

My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, “Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!” She looked at me and yelled, “You did this to me, you bastard!”

I casually replied, “If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass
but you said, ‘That would hurt too much’.”

FOUR

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why and she said, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”

FIVE

I was walking down the road and saw my  Afghanistan  neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, “What’s wrong, Abdul? Won’t it start?”

SIX

My girlfriend and I were making love when she looked up at me and said, “Make love to me like in the movies.”

So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after that night.

I guess we don’t watch the same movies.
________________________

The One (1) Question Test

This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally..
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION:

You are in Florida , Miami to be specific.. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical  proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you’re caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

You’re trying to shoot career-making photos There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

 
THE TEST:

Suddenly you see a man and a woman in the water. They are fighting for their lives, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow they look familiar.. you suddenly realize who they are.

It’s Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi!! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take them under forever.

You have two options:

You can save their lives or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the deaths of two of the world’s most powerful people

NOW,
Here’s the question; and please give an honest answer…

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classicsimplicity of black and white?
________________________

007

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck