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3 Minute Management Course
Ride last night
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
“Can I also sit like you and do nothing?” The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden,
a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the
“but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some
of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with
nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a
lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to
lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the
proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a
farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large
field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He
laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the three minute management course.
Susan K – a blonde – decides to do something wild she hasn’t done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there’s nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
Upon answering the phone, Judi excaims “I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the tape but static.” To which the store clerk responds “Sorry about that. We’ve had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?” “It’s called Head Cleaner.”
DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.
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