Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 12/1/2009

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My Neighbors

Terminology For Husbands

Bike for sale on Auto Trader

My Neighbors…………. The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.

 I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex

 It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, “I wanna watch.”
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Terminology For Husbands

Broom (brum) – a long handled brush used for sweeping (also doubles
asa mode of transportation for your mother)

Vacuum (vak’ u em) – much like the leaf blower except it
sucksin, instead of blowing out. Don’t let this alarm you. It isn’t
brokenand doesn’t need more torque, speed, RAM or whatever it is
youdid to the dishwasher.

Dust Pan (DUH) – Contrary to popular belief, this is where
yousweep the dirt, not under the hallway area rug.

Dust Cloth (dust kloth) – A cloth designated for removing
tinyparticles of dirt from every flat surface of the house. Hint:
lookfor your old “lucky shirt”.

Bucket (buk’ it) – Cylindric container used for holding soapy water
whenmopping the floor. Also known as your mid-evil knight helmet
whenyou’re playing with our seven-year-old.

Mop (mop) – a bundle of coarse yarn, rags or cloth fastened
atthe end of a stick. You’ll remember this as your dance partner at
theNew Year’s Eve party last year.

Toilet Brush (toi’ lit brush) – Used for scrubbing the inside of the
toiletbowl. I don’t care what this looks like, you may NOT use my
showerluffa again!

Oven Cleaner (uv’ en Klen’ er) – No, not the teenager. This
isan actual product that you buy, spray in the oven and
wipeout two hours later. You won’t need your welder’s
maskfor this task, but if it makes you feel more dangerous, go
ahead.

Sponge (spunj) – used to gently wash away food particles from
dinnerware. It won’t be necessary to use your 300psi Power wash set.
That was given to you in hopes of cleaning the exterior of the house
(hint hint).

Squeegee (skwe’ je) – Same principle as washing the car windshield,
andyes, real men do squeegee!

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Bike for sale

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck