Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 10/01/2009

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It Pays To Know German…

A Harley rider is passing the zoo

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An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.
The Amish man shouts:
“Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben in ihm geschissen!”

Which means: “Don’t drink the water, the cows and the pigs have shit in it!”

The man shouts back: “I’m a Muslim, I don’t understand your gibberish. Speak English, infidel!”

The Amish man shouts back in English:
“Use two hands, you’ll get more!”
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A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”

 The biker replies, “Why, it was nothing, really; the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”

 The reporter says, “Well, I’m a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page.  So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

 The biker replies, “I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.”

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page: 

U.S.  MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck