Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 9/01/2009

Thought of the Day: We must limit politicians to two terms:  one in office and one in jail.

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A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.

A few facts!

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.
They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket
and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up
a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the
store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old
lady who told him she was lost. She asked, ‘Can you tell me how to get
to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?’

The farmer said, ‘Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to
that house I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.’

The old lady suggested, ‘Why don’t you put the can of paint in the
bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm
and carry the goose in your other hand?’

‘Why thank you very much,’ he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says ‘Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley.
We’ll be there in no time.’

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, ‘I am a
lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when
we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my
skirt, and have your way with me?’

The farmer said, ‘Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of
paint, two chickens, and a goose.. How in the world could I possibly
hold you up against the wall and do that?’

The old lady replied, ‘Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket,
put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.
________________________

A few facts!

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

The average man’s penis is two times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.    
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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck