Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/31/2009

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A husband and wife are traveling by car from Brisbane to Melbourne .

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically,

Must have shoes!

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this…

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Brisbane to Melbourne .

After almost ten hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest.. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk; hands them a bill for $450.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $450.00.

When the clerk tells him $450.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

‘But we didn’t use them,’ the man complains

‘Well, they are here, and you could have,’ explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. ‘The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,’ the Manager says.

‘But we didn’t go to any of those shows, ‘complains the man again.

‘Well, we have them, and you could have,’ the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions! The man replies, ‘But we didn’t use it!’

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque.  ’But sir,’ he says, ‘this cheque is only made out for $50.00.’

‘That’s correct,’ says the man. ‘I charged you $400 for sleeping with my wife.’

‘But I didn’t!’ exclaims the Manager.

‘Well, too bad,’ the man replies. ‘She was here and you could have!’
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Out dated but funny

I don’t know how they wrote this with a straight face.  This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees.  It went to all field Engineers about a computer peripheral problem.  The author of this Memo was quite genuine.  The Engineers rolled on the floor!  Especially note the last couple of sentences.

“If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.  Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).  Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
 
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.  Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.  Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.  Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method; domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.  Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive; however, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.
 
Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
 
It is recommended that each person has a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.  Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
  
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.”
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Obama shoes

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck