Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 7/01/2009

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The Pretzel Hold

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.

Why men don’t pick the cake!

A Russian and a Redneck wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.

Before the final match, the Redneck wrestler’s trainer came to him and said
‘Now,don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s
never lost a match because of this ‘pretzel’ hold he has.

       Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you’re finished.’

The redneck nodded in acknowledgment.

       As the match started, the Redneck and the Russian circled each other several times,looking for an opening.

       All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Redneck and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.

       A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost.

       He couldn’t watch the inevitable happen.

       Suddenly,there was a long and high pitched scream, then a roar from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. 

      His back hit the mat with a thud and the Redneck collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone,he asked ‘How did you ever get out of
that hold ? No one has ever done it before !’ 

       The wrestler answered ‘Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.’

The trainer exclaimed ‘That’s what finished him off ?’ 

Not really. You’d be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts’!
________________________

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He’d toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth
In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question – and as he
Turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they

Became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
With her date. After being informed of the problem, their

Daughter’s’ date said he could get the peanut out..

The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to
Shove two fingers up the father’s nose and told him to blow hard.

When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young
Man insisted that it was nothing.

Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,
‘That’s so wonderful! Isn’t he smart? What do you think he’s going  to be when
He grows older?’
The father replied, ‘From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.’
________________________

Why men don’t pick the cake!

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck