Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 5/1/2009

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Two Poems

Alligator shoes

A WOMAN’S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart, and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to ‘how big is my behind?’
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN’S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs and a nice ass who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit. The End
________________________

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
the young blonde declared, ‘Well, then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my
own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!’

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, ‘Well, little lady, why don’t you
go on and give it a try?’

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same
young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming
rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled
it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.

Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration…..
‘CRAP! THIS ONE’S BAREFOOT, TOO!
________________________

Videos will return next week

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck