Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 4/27/2009

Please tell your friends about Chuck’s blog and OLS

A little deadpan humor

Why in the world do you want to marry her

A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries… Some fascinating things on old tombstones!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York :
Born 1903–Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East DalhousieCemetery, Nova Scotia
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only The Good Die Young.

In a London , England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast… Pardon me for not rising.

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake…

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw..

A lawyer’s epitaph in England :
Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England ,cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls , Vermont :
Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket , Massachusetts :
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England :
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I’ll not consent ….
Until I know which way you went.

________________________

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
‘So I hear you’re getting married?’
‘Yep!’
‘Do I know her?’
‘Nope!’
‘This woman, is she good looking?’
‘Not really.’
‘Is she a good cook?’
‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’
‘Does she have lots of money?’
‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’
‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’
‘Because she can still drive!’
_________________

Videos will be back next week

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Our Lighter side is an electronic newsletter published five days a week and sent to you from Birmingham, AL.

Please tell your friends about OLS! Would your friends enjoy receiving “Our Lighter Side”?

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck