Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 3/31/2009

Written by chuck on March 30, 2009 – 9:30 pm -

Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist”

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A man who knows his math

Tiny Cabin

Fruit flavored condoms

A man who knows his math

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I ob served a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angere d the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

‘Man, that guy is stupid,’ I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here’s why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That’s 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to bumper

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not
bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least
another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That’s 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That’s 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That’s 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger?

I don’t think so.

________________________

Tiny Cabin

A social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life .

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.
‘Anybody home?’ she asked.

‘Yep,’ came a kid’s voice through the door.

‘Is your Father there?’ asked the social worker.

‘Pa ? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,’ said the kid.

‘Well, is your Mother there?’ persisted the social worker.

‘Ma ? Nope, she left just afore I got here,’ said the kid.

‘But,’ protested the social worker, ‘are you never together as a Family ?’

‘Sure, but not here,’ said the kid through the door. ‘This is the Outhouse!’

(Government workers are so smart).

________________________

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck

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