Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 9/17/2008

Please tell your friends about OLS

Real Headlines

Road Sign

Girls should not fire guns

Real Headlines

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
&nb sp;I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain;< B> Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?!
Oklahoma’s construction program!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

________________________

Road Sign

A priest and a minister are standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground. The sign reads:
“The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now Before It’s Too Late!”

A car speeds past them, the driver yelling, “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!”

There is the sound of screeching tires followed by a big splash.

The priest turns to the minister and asks, “Do you think the sign should just say ‘Bridge Out?’”
________________________

Girls should not fire guns

**********************************

DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

—————
Adult Humor
—————

Our Lighter side is an electronic newsletter published five days a week and sent to you from Birmingham, AL.

Please tell your friends about OLS! Would your friends enjoy receiving “Our Lighter Side”?

Send them this address http://www.ourlighterside.com

Please send jokes and stuff to: ols@ourlighterside.com

Thanks,

Chuck