Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 9/01/2008

Powerful Woman’s Motto:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says… ‘Oh shit….she’s awake!!’

Would you like me to call the funeral home now?

The frog

Chet

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains.

We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong.

When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone.

I turned to my husband and asked, “Would you like me to call the funeral home now?”

With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, “Honey, He’s not THAT sick.”

________________________

There was a 10 year old boy walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened
frog on a string behind him. He walked up to a house of ill repute and
knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and
asked what he wanted. He said, ‘I want to have sex with one of the women
inside. I have the money and I’m not leaving until I do.’* *

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told
him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, ‘Do any of the girls have
any diseases?’ Of course, the Madam said no, bu t the boy replied, ‘I heard
all the men talking about having to get shots after making it with Amber. So
THAT’S the girl I want!’* *

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the
Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall
dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still
dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam
stopped him and asked, ‘* *Why did you pick the only girl in the place with
a disease, instead of one of the others?

He said, ‘Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are
going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with my babysitter.
After they leave, my babysitter will have sex with me because she just
happens to be very fond of little boys. She will get the disease that I just
caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the babysitter home. On the
way, he’ll jump her bones, and he’ll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets
home from the babysitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom
will catch it. In the morning w hen Dad goes to work, the Milkman will
deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease…and HE’S
the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!’

________________________

Chet

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck