OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/30/2008
Written by chuck on June 29, 2008 – 9:30 pm -Horrible Man-Bashing jokes
Horrible Women-Bashing jokes
Ladies will love this!
Horrible Man-Bashing jokes
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What is a man’s view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
“Filthy” and “Filthy but Wearable”.
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Horrible Women-Bashing jokes
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me….”
How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t, there’s a clock on the oven!
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course, at least he’ll shut up after you let him in!
One golfer tells another: “Hey, guess what? I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!”
The other replies: “GREAT trade!”
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened by the time she brings it in.
What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won’t do what she’s told!
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.
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Adult Humor
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Chuck
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