OUR LIGHTER SIDE 4/29/2008
Written by chuck on April 28, 2008 – 9:30 pm -Definitions of OLD
Grandmas birth control pills!
Welcome to Iowa
(1) “OLD” IS WHEN….. Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,”and you answer, “Pick one, I can’t do both!”
(2) “OLD” IS WHEN….. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
(3) “OLD” IS WHEN….. A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
(4) “OLD” IS WHEN….. Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
(5) “OLD” IS WHEN….. You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
(6) “OLD” IS WHEN….. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
(7) “OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting a little action” means I don’t need to take any fiber today.
(8) “OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
(9) “OLD” IS WHEN….. An “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.
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Grandmas birth control pills!
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?”
“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”
“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!”
She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee. “Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old-granddaughter drinks. And, believe me, it helps me sleep at night.”
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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.
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Adult Humor
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Thanks,
Chuck
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