Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 2/29/2008

Quote: I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. Thomas Jefferson

There was this fellow from East Tennessee…

The Chicken Business

Goal boob!

There was this fellow from East Tennessee who had a flat tire. He pulled off on the side of the road, jumped out of his car, walked down the hillside and picked a bunch of wildflowers, and proceeded to put one bouquet of the flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, “I have a flat tarr.” In response the passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither.”

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The Chicken Business

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred
young layers (hens), called “pullets”, and ten roosters, whose job it was to
fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup
pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set
of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different
tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he
could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening
to the bells.

The farmer’s favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too.
But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at
all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing
the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next
one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair
and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result…The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but
they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician
could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our
planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when
they weren’t paying attention.

Vote carefully…the bells are not always audible!

________________________

Goal Boob!

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck