OUR LIGHTER SIDE 2/28/2008
Written by chuck on February 27, 2008 – 9:30 pm -Little Tony part 1
The perfect women!
Little Tony
A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little TONY.
He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then little TONY says, “I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobblingdown the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the icecream.
Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbleddown the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little TONY replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,” but I like your thinking.”
LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
“Why?” asks the father?
“The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x3,’” I said “6″, replies TONY.
“But that’s right!” says his dad.
“Yeah, but then she asked me “How much is 3 x 2?’”
“What’s the fucking difference?” asks the father.
“That’s what I said!”
LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”
TONY says “Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, little TONY, that’s a mouthful.”
Little TONY says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blow job.”
LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
Little TONY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom.
He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”
The teacher replied, ‘Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is’urinate .’
Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”
Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, “You’re an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!”
LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”
Little TONY replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time”
Little TONY answered, “No, he minded his own fucking business. ”
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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.
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Adult Humor
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Chuck
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