Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 11/29/2007

Why Men Are Seldom Published In Dear Abby

Fantasy vs. Reality

Men’s  Thong

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Thanks, Bob

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     Fantasy vs. Reality
(F = FANTASY, R = REALITY)

F: He’ll lavish you with gifts for no particular reason.
R: You’ve got him confused with Santa Claus, who’s already married, anyway.

F: He’ll be tall.
R: He’ll say he’s five-foot-ten, although you’ll tower over him at five-seven.

F: He’ll look at no other women.
R: He still thinks Sharon Stone, the swimsuit model in    Sports Ill., and the young babysitter down the street all want to meet him.

F: You’ll be in his every thought.
R: He’ll spend half his life obsessing about a receding hairline;the other half rehashing the latest game on ESPN.

F: He’ll be witty.
R: He’ll still tell knock-knock jokes.

F: You’ll share the same interests.
R: He’ll cancel a romantic evening with you for a tractor pull.

F: He always walk beside you, smother you with kisses, and give you unconditional love.
R: Now you’ve got him confused with the family dog!

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Ladies…click here for men’s thongs

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in  this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Thanks,

Chuck