Chuck's Blog

OUR LIGHTER SIDE 11/1/07

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were
exactly like mine. We were both crazy about girls.

Life’s Reflections

There were three Eskimos in Alaska

Hurts

Life’s Reflections

1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

3. I’m in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

6. I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but
when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but
anyone going faster is a maniac?

9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a
day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock
every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there
picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK,
then it must be you.

12. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if
you’ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry
isn’t your biggest problem.

13. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket
and said, “Don’t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?” I
said, “I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you
too”.

________________________

There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at
their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside,
and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything
but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who
indeed had the coldest igloo.

They went to the first Eskimo’s igloo, where he said “Watch this!”
and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze
in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid. “Not bad”, said the other
Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still. So
they went to the second Eskimo’s igloo, and he said “Watch this!”
and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a
big lump and fell to the floor. “Wow, that’s colder than mine!” said
the first Eskimo.

But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended
up at the third Eskimo’s igloo. He said “Watch this!” and went into
the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of several
small balls of ice there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held
a match under it. When it heated up enough, it went “FFFAAAARRRRTTT”.

________________________

Hurts

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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or
“typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I
sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I
feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.

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Adult Humor
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Thanks,

Chuck