OUR LIGHTER SIDE 8/30/2007
Written by chuck on August 29, 2007 – 9:14 pm -I have thousands of readers, but only a handful of readers send me jokes. Please send jokes and stuff to OLS and I will post your stuff! ols@ourlighterside.com
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a traffic light next to a Rolls-Royce.
Geography of a woman
Geography of a man
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a traffic light next to a Rolls-Royce.
The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You’ve got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!”
The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes I have a phone.”
The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there, too?
I’ve got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!”
The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, “Yes, I have a refrigerator.”
The driver of the Yugo says, “That’s great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!”
The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, “Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!”
The driver of the Yugo says, “Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!”
Upset that he does not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce speeds away, and goes straight to the dealer, where he promptly orders that a bed be installed in the back of his car.
The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picks up the car, and the bed looks superb, with satin sheets and a brass trim.
It is clearly a bed fit for a Rolls.
So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Yugo, and he drives all day.
Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside.
The driver of the Rolls gets out and knocks on the Yugo.
When there isn’t any answer, he knocks and knocks, and eventually the owner sticks his head out, soaking wet.
“I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce,” the driver of the Rolls states arrogantly.
The driver of the Yugo looks at him and says, “You got me out of the shower to tell me THAT?!?!”
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Geography of a woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: half-discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America: well-developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India: very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France: gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain: with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia: lost some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia: very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet: off the beaten path, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages … still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for knowledge and true love dare visit there.
Geography of a man
Between 1 and 78, a man is like Iran … ruled by a dick.
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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied,
“No ma’am, they’re dead.”
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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.
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Adult Humor
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Thanks,
Chuck
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