OUR LIGHTER SIDE 6/28/2007
Written by chuck on June 27, 2007 – 9:30 pm -Pan handling works if you have the correct sign
A H
911 video
Pan handling works if you have the correct sign
Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.
Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.
Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.
Jose says, “Look at your sign.” It reads: “I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support”
Carlos looks at Jose’s sign.
It reads: “I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico
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A H
A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a
real jerk and comes running back to the motor officer. The violator
demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer
calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The “Motorist” instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s
ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The
officer, being a professional, takes it all in stride, figuring
“battleship mouth and rowboat ass”.
The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets done
with writing the citation he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of
the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the
“Violator” for his signature.
The guy signs the cite angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented
his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer then removes his mirrored sunglasses, gets in the middle of
the guy’s face and said, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember
you’re an asshole!”
Three months later they are in court. The “Violator” has such a bad
record he is about to lose his license and has hired an attorney to
represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.
Under cross-examination, the defense attorney asks, “Officer, is this a
reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my client?”
Officer responds, “Yes sir, this is the defendant’s copy, his signature
and mine, same number at the top.”
Attorney: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this
violation you don’t normally make?”
Officer: “Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is
an ‘AH’, underlined.”
Attorney: “What does the AH stand for, officer?”
Officer? “Aggressive and Hostile, Sir.”
Attorney: “Aggressive and hostile?”
Officer: “Yes, Sir?”
Attorney: “Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for Asshole?”
Officer: “Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do!”
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DISCLAIMER! There may be errors in this newsletter. Any errors or “typos” you find were also found by me less than 10 minutes after I sent it out. As far as spelling is concerned, Mark Twain once said, I feel bad for the man that can’t spell a word more than one way.
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Adult Humor
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Chuck
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